I’m sitting here looking through pictures of my kids and grandkids on facebook, and then, there they come….the tears, the memories. “Did I do what I was supposed to do?” “Did I react the way I was supposed to react?”
… Then you think of friends, friends that maybe you don’t talk to as often as you like because life happened all of a sudden. Was I a good friend? Did I help them when they needed it?
Then, there it comes… ‘Am I a good person?’ If I didn’t know me, would I like me?
I have people tell me how funny I am, witty, silly, goofy….. But am I a good person?
I am a father of 5 children, 4 girls and a boy. I have SIX grandchildren, 3 girls, 3 boys.
3 of those kids live far enough away that I can’t see them everyday because of crappy cars, no money, and work. That is also where my 6 grandkids are.
So, as I am looking thru the pictures, tearing up because crying wouldn’t stop. I wonder. Did I do okay? My kids don’t call me, just because, they don’t come to visit me, I don’t get to play with my grandkids like other grandparents do. I have a 15 year old daughter that is so emotionally absent, it breaks my heart, and a “step”son who I raised since he was three that calls me like once or twice every couple of weeks.
He is not blood related but evidently I did something okay for him to want to call and talk, and/or visit.
Where is this going? Oh, come on Mike…feeling sorry for yourself? Suck it up, be a man.
Ever since Christ came back in my life, I grew a conscience… well, it got BIGGER. I have always had one, and to this day I worry about what others perceive me as.
Do my kids think I’m a good dad? Do my coworkers respect me? Does my wife like being around me? Does my family think I’m an odd ball because I’m following Jesus now more than ever…. are they proud of me?
In Psalms 127:3-5, it says “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
Have I done GOD justice?
D.L. Moody said “A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian… and most of all, his family ought to know.”
It says in Matthew 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Am I salt? Am I light? Who Am I?
I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).
I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).
I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).
I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).
I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).
I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).
I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).
I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).
I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (1 Corinthians 6:19).
I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
I accepted Christ as my Savior, He forgave me of my past, but why do I keep asking myself how good am I? Why do I keep asking if I did a good job with my kids? Why do I worry about what people think of me?
I don’t know…but what is done. Is done. What I did in the past, is past. I can only do, what I can only do. And I can’t do anything without Christ Jesus as the center of my life!!
What did Jesus say in Matt 6:25-7:1 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ Or ‘What shall we drink?’ Or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I believe this applies to all of the above questions that I had. I can’t control what I can’t control. If I am worried about why I haven’t been able to keep in touch with someone, then I could also think that the phone works both ways. If I worry about what someone thinks about me, I could also think that in Christ I am His! And I do what I can do, but I can’t do any more than what I can do.
All of this from looking at pictures….missing my children, wanting to love on my grandchildren….but Paul said, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” in Philippians 4:11
Don’t worry. God’s plan for you is to have peace. Lean on the foundation of Jesus. Do what you can do, but leave the rest to God…or better yet, just leave it ALL to God.